The Wet Ones: A phantasmagoria of psychic chaos!

As a psychic I often like to watch movies that stimulate my brain and increase my magical mind powers.

I recently came across this gem called The Wet Ones. It was written and directed by a mysterious figure named Wigwolf and features legendary comedian Andy Dick in a starring role.

As you may well be aware, Andy Dick was recently arrested for assault.

I highly reccomend you watch The Wet Ones for a psychic power boost, available here at Amoeba Films!

Three Recession Proof Ways To Rock A Psychic Aesthetic

Recession? Ah!!! El Gypto is here to help!

The economy being in terrible shape is no excuse to indulge in your worst fashion instincts. A large part of your psychic mojo comes from your exterior look.

As a favor to psychics on a budget, I have picked my three most essential psychic fashion items that even the poorest psychic can afford!

  1. Men’s plus size Henley shirt. In a brown Henley you’ll keep warm while keeping your heart open to the stars.
Recession-Proof Henley Shirt

2. Big & Tall Dockers® Ultimate Straight-Leg Shorts

When you have a nightmare about the stars, about dead worlds light-years away, worlds full of demons and zombies, you won’t mind pooping these Big & Tall Dockers® in Ultimate Straight-Leg Shorts out of fear, they don’t stain easily as long as you wash them right away.

Brown Short

3. St. John’s Bay Northport Mens Sneakers

Step out on the town in these affordable but stylish St. John’s Bay Northport Men’s Sneakers.

Up close and personal with St. John’s Bay! This “Psychic 4 Hire’ wouldn’t have it any other way!

If you dig this clothing advice and would like even more psychic advice, why not get in touch with a real “Psychic 4 Hire”?

El Gypto: Psychic 4 Hire

What Can We Learn From Katy Perry’s Use Of Satan Magic?

Katy Perry at the 2022 Met Gala in her Satanic dress!
Hey, this is El Gypto!

What can we learn from Katy Perry’s use of Satan’s powers?

Recently, fashion designer Tom Ford dissed Katy Perry in the press, making fun of her for dressing like a hamburger at the Met Gala. Last night at the Met Gala, Katy Perry showed up in an Oscar De La Renta dress, looking amazing. All the press said that Tom Ford was made to look like a fool.

Obviously, Katy Perry is a beautiful woman, but to have such a great increase in beauty in such a short amount of time does take magic. Katy Perry is a well-known user of satanic magic and she obviously felt challenged by Tom Ford, and angry. She used her magic to increase her beauty to get revenge on Tom Ford.

I would not advise anyone to use Satanic magic but, with your own psychic abilities, you should learn to use your emotions to your advantage. Whether you’re feeling happy, sad, angry, or tired. All these emotions, with the inherent energy bursts they bring with them, can be directed towards increasing your magic abilities and psychic power.

So I think the best takeaway from the Tom Ford/Katy Perry debacle is that emotion can be used to increase your psychic powers and abilities.

If you would like more psychic help please hire El Gypto today!

Can You Pass The Chrissy Metz Test?

Chrissy Metz as Kate Pearson on This Is Us. What can she teach us about power?

On a recent episode of the NBC television family drama This Is Us, star Chrissy Metz (who plays plus-sized ingenue Kate Pearson) feels challenged after her husband Toby (Chris Sullivan) offers to get her a Taxi to take her to the top of a steep hill in the city of San Francisco while she is there visiting him (as circumstances have led to Toby working a long-distance job away from Kate and their two children in Los Angeles).

Kate refuses the offer of a taxi and decides to walk up the hill using her own power, despite her plus size. Kate doesn’t let her size hold her back, she makes it up that hill, even if it means having her dress soaked in sweat.

What can we learn from Kate Pearson’s outsized power? How can we apply this to our own psychic life and well-being?

Well first off, identify your hill. What is the obstacle that you feel challenged by, and who is “the Toby” in your life who is keeping you from defeating this obstacle? Practice exerting your power on them, even if it means destroying them. Then use that same power to push you up to the top of that hill, you may end up soaked in sweat, but if you don’t, it probably means you didn’t push your powers hard enough.

Be like Kate Pearson, get to the top of your psychic hill, and smash your goals with the help of a real psychic mentor!

Psychic 4 Hire: El Gypto

Why You Should Hire My Psychic Services Through Fiverr

Hire me or the demons win!

Normal psychics might be fine charging directly for their services!

Opening up their clients to scam artists!

By purchasing my services through Fiverr you are protected by Fiverr’s amazing buyer protection guarantee. So click the link today and hire El Gypto for all your psychic needs!

Flip the Script: An Intriguing New Approach to the Same Old Paranormal Tools

El Gypto’s homemade “Gyptograph Model T1”

The “Gyptograph T1” is a homemade paranormal investigation and communication device designed and built by El Gypto. CNET called it, “the iPhone of paranormal investigation technology, a real gamechanger.”

El Gypto designed the Gyptograph T1 because, according to him, he had no choice. “I was forced to,” says El Gypto, “with the standard, pathetic paranormal technology that was available at the time I was up the proverbial creek without a paddle. The ghosts were slipping through my fingers, I knew I had to take action. I had to design my own. Hence, the Model T1.”

Unlike most ghost hunting technology, the Model T1 is capable of both hunting and communicating with ghosts. It’s an all-in-one ghost hunting machine. Plus, with its ability to harness the charge of any nearby runes, the Model T1 is a formidable weapon for any serious demon hunter.

As of now, El Gypto has no plans to sell his device to consumers.

“Unfortunately,” says El Gypto, “the Gyptograph Model T1 is too powerful for amateurs. In the wrong hands, it could be used for great evil. I trust no one but myself with this high quality technology.”

El Gypto’s Psychic Terminal

If you are suffering from severe paranormal experiences and feel you need the services of the Gyptograph Model T1 then hire El Gypto now!

Medallón León Misterioso

¡UH oh! ¡gran problema! ¡Mi esposa está en los brazos de otro hombre! ¡Ahora soy un cornudo patético! ¡Oh El Gypto, por favor ayúdame!

¿Te sientes insatisfecho?

¿Tu esposa ya no te ama?

¿Eres impotente?

¡El Gypto usará la magia de su misterioso medallón de león para hacer desaparecer al amante de tu esposa para toda la eternidad!

¿Eres un cornudo?

¿Eres un fracaso?

¿Necesitas el tipo de magia que va a transformar tu vida?

¡Entonces deja que El Gypto use el poder del medallón del león misterioso para salvar tu vida!

¡Puedo hacer que el amante de tu esposa se vaya!

¡El Gypto puede ayudar a salvar tu matrimonio y arreglar a tu esposa infiel!

The Piece of Psychic Crime Solver Advice That’s Seared Into My Memory

Sometimes being a “psychic 4 hire” means taking on the hard cases. Unfortunately some cases are too tough for even El Gypto to solve.

In the mid-2000s, two NYC detectives discovered a pattern in the deaths of white male college students who had gone missing. All the victims had been found in bodies of water, not far from where they went missing, and at each crime scene police found a crudely drawn “smiley face”.

Symbol of the “Smiley Face Killers”

The two NYC detectives developed a theory, that a national gang of serial killers, known collectively as “The Smiley Face Killers” were kidnapping and murdering white male college students for some unknown, sick reason!

The detectives came to me for help, I brought my bag of runes and my dowsing tool to the scene of all the crimes, all thirty-seven. I did my best but I came back with nothing.

Feeling very sad and frustrated that I could not help crack the case, I decided to give up psychic crime-solving forever. But then I was contacted by an old friend, none other than the late, great psychic crime fighter Sylvia Brown.

Psychic Legend: Sylvia Brown

Sylvia said, “El Gypto, you’re not gonna win them all, sometimes the greatest psychic power is accepting the limits of that power.”

And this, my friends, is what I’m here to tell you. Part of your psychic growth is accepting the limits of your powers. Let El Gypto help you find these limits, define them, and push them to the edges of the cosmos!

The Secrets To Runes

El Gypto’s “Rune Board”

Mainstream rune wielders, the type you’d find on social media brainwashing programs like Instagram and Youtube probably put their runes into a bag and then dump them out. They probably read the runes and make up all kinds of crazy mumbo jumbo to help spread mainstream media’s agenda.

The way El Gypto uses runes is different, it’s different and powerful.

I use a rune board to amplify the magic of my sun-charged runes.

I use runes made of crystals found only on the moon.

I can use the power of earth’s own stars to fire a rune blast directly at the demons whose claws are embedded in your soul.

So, are you sick of the mainstream, new age, ineffective approach to runes?

Are you ready to see your runes in a new way?

Hire El Gypto today and unlock the secrets of the runes!

How To Make Good Trouble In The Psychic Realm

Maia Mitchell as Callie Adams-Foster on Freeform’s Good Trouble

On Freeform’s television drama Good Trouble, Maia Mitchell plays Callie Adams-Foster. Callie Adams-Foster is the product of a corrupt California foster care system, but luckily she is adopted by a lesbian couple and allowed to thrive in their home along with her biological brother Jude and her foster siblings Jesus, Mariana, and Brandon. Upon graduating from law school Callie decides to devote her life to social justice, but she does this by going outside the system, creating disruption, and making “good trouble”.

How can we, in our psychic lives, make our own “good trouble”? How can we disrupt the demonic system, and subvert the curses and hexes that are oppressing us? Let El Gypto help you make an action plan. The time for praxis has come!

Hire El Gypto today!